My first day there, I walked into the men's locker room, and there was an old guy blow-drying his balls. I don't really have a problem with the actual activity—blow-driers are provided for general use without strings attached, some people have damp balls, &c.—but the whole narrative it implied was a little upsetting: a henpecked old man whose wife denies him this simple pleasure, forced to get a gym membership fulfill a basic human need (dry balls).

Today a guy joined me in the sauna. I've seen him in the gym before...he is nine feet tall and has a Lex Luthor haircut. He came into the sauna soaking wet from the shower, and then did a whole stretching routine, naked as a buck. His best move was placing one foot dead center of the sauna and bending over so the other foot was on one wall and his arms were on the one across. Huffing and puffing and grunting and groaning the entire time. I desperately wanted to escape, but his wiener was directly over my flip-flops. When I saw an opportunity to leave, I grabbed it (the opportunity, not his wiener).

Update [2006-2-7 8:38:4 by tps12]: Fixed spelling of "Luthor."

Update [2006-2-15 11:49:43 by tps12]: Fixed tags.